A Coach Dann field guide · Self-care
Self-care isn’t “me first”, it’s “me too”.
Self-care is the regular maintenance of your body, mind, relationships and surroundings. It includes comfort, boundaries, preparation, recovery and the practical tasks that make tomorrow easier to meet.
Open the go-to list
Self-care
Start here · Five minutes
Run a four-part care check
Ask each question, then choose one response that is realistically available today.
- Body: what physical need has been asking for attention?
- Mind: what thought or feeling needs space?
- Environment: what small change would reduce friction?
- Support: who or what would help me feel less alone with this?
Useful psychology belongs in people’s hands
The Bear go-to list.
Practical recommendations to return to whenever self-care needs attention.
- 01
Choose a sleep anchor
Keep one part of your sleep routine consistent, such as your waking time, evening wind-down or morning light. A reliable anchor can help your body recognise when activity begins and ends.
- 02
Meet physical needs before interpreting everything
Check food, hydration, medication, pain, temperature and tiredness when your mood drops sharply. Physical strain can change how situations feel and how much capacity you have to respond.
- 03
Build a care menu
Create three lists for two minutes, twenty minutes and half a day. Include options that genuinely restore you. A menu removes the need to invent self-care while your energy is already low.
- 04
Protect transitions
Give yourself a brief pause between work and home, one conversation and the next, or caring for others and returning to yourself. Change your clothes, walk around the block or sit in silence for five minutes.
- 05
Reduce friction in your surroundings
Place useful items where you need them, prepare food ahead, silence unnecessary alerts and clear one surface. Environmental changes can make helpful choices easier when motivation is limited.
- 06
Use boundaries before depletion
Notice the early signs that your capacity is narrowing. Ask for more time, reduce a commitment or explain what you can offer. Earlier boundaries usually require less force and create less resentment.
- 07
Create a low-input period
Choose a regular period with fewer screens, messages, decisions and demands. Let your attention settle through quiet, familiar music, reading, prayer, nature or a repetitive task.
- 08
Schedule enjoyment with equal legitimacy
Place something enjoyable in the diary and protect the time. Pleasure, play and curiosity contribute to emotional recovery and help life feel larger than responsibility.
- 09
Treat administration as care
Appointments, prescriptions, finances, laundry and meal preparation can reduce future stress. Choose one maintenance task and complete it as a gift to your later self.
- 10
Ask for the right kind of support
Tell people whether you need listening, advice, company, practical help or space. Clear requests give others a better chance of responding in a way that actually helps.
- 11
Speak to yourself with steadiness
Use language that acknowledges the difficulty and keeps your dignity intact. Try, ‘This has taken a lot from me today, and I can choose one caring response now.’
- 12
Know your green, amber and red signs
Write down what wellbeing, strain and depletion look like for you. Give each level its own response plan. Acting at amber can reduce the likelihood of reaching red.
Self-care becomes powerful when it is ordinary enough to repeat. Small acts of maintenance can protect your capacity for the people, work and life you value.
Keep exploring
Four animals. Four ways to care for a life.
A useful next step
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